Mulan: The One and Only!

Recently my high school finished their run of Oklahoma! At first there was a group of us (me included) who were not quite pleased with the selection of the show. Of course, being the naive teenagers we are, we thought we could have chosen a better show to do. But,  although we were still bitter about it we decided to audition anyway. The run of the show was full of frustration and that good old thing called teen angst, but it ended up being one of our most successful shows. In the midst of all this was my girlfriend Kyra and I. I basically forced her to join through a guilt trip and she did end up liking it. Through the experience we came up with some good inside jokes that are sure to exclude others and make them feel even more worthless than they really are. For example look at this picture:

 Now before you make assumptions let me answer some questions you may have:

1. Yes, she is Asian (Chinese to be exact on the country)
2. No, I'm not a racist and I really love Asians.  Heck, I practically invented "Hug an Asian Day."
3. She is born in the year of the Dragon and will grow up to live in Romania and train them.
4. I realize that her blanket is red but that is only because she hates pink...she is anti-pink.  If there was one color she could murder with a broom it would be pink! And it would look like this:

Mulan is angry at the pink and so the pink is crying. Also,  she wont be into all that "Hello Kitty" crap, because no adopted daughter of mine is going to be a part of a franchise. No sir. Also I would like to point out that neither my girlfriend or I are Asian. We are just planning to adopt. Another thing to take into account is that I do not promote violence. Anyway, after bringing her back to the states we have decided to keep her with a nanny who will teach her Mandarin as well as English. We are both planning on being very busy and we may not see a whole lot of her childhood so Maya (the nanny who,  surprisingly, is also Asian) will just need to record every second of it on our video camera...wow, this is making us sound like we would be really terrible parents. I promise this will get better soon. As soon as she is at least six we will move to a house in Connecticut and open a ranch in our backyard...JK horses scare the living daylights out of me. We both will continue our jobs in DC and NYC and fire Maya for attempting to eat our dog... again, I'm not racist we just needed a reason to fire her and saying she tried to eat our child is a bit morbid. Soon Mulan will want to meet her biological mother so we will have to go back to china, where we will find out that her biological mother had died from a very rare form of ear cancer... and I'm sure that it is a real thing. That is basically Mulan's life so far and we have already started her college fund. However, there is one drawback in this story... at one point she will want to know what her original name was... as it turns out it was really Pang because she was supposed to be a boy... but that is a different story for a different time...